


If You Love Someone

by Jerry_Larchive



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerry_Larchive/pseuds/Jerry_Larchive
Summary: Marriage counseling is not working and Jackson reflects on his failing marriage and choices made and missed in this very short OS.





	If You Love Someone

Yeah, this is working.., NOT!

Four sessions of this stuff and all it's doing is giving us something else to disagree about.

Why can't she see it's a lost cause? Why can't she just let go?

She says they take marriage seriously in her family, that they don't get divorces. I had to laugh at that. In my family, everyone is divorced. She didn't react very favorably to that response.

So here we are in counseling because she is determined to go down fighting. I don't see the point since we've been fighting pretty much constantly for months now. At least the months when she isn't checked out, avoiding me. Or maybe that's me avoiding her? Probably a bunch of both.

Of course the counselor says this is all natural behavior after a loss like ours. Yeah, big help there. Thanks counselor. How much training did you need to dispense that wisdom? What year did they teach you that losing a child can ruin a marriage?

And that probably ruins even the best marriages. The ones with a great foundation where both partners love and respect each other; where they're each other's persons. We didn't even have that going for us, did we? Well, maybe on her part. But if I'm being honest, it's never been that way for me.

Webber once told me that Harper Avery and Grey Sloan was a bad marriage, a mismatch. Well, I think he might as well be describing my marriage too.

We're just too different. We come from such different backgrounds. We have different perspectives on everything. And while we share some common values, our beliefs couldn't be more in opposition.

But if you really love someone, and I'm talking about the kind of love Sloan was talking about that last day, then none of that shit matters. You find a way to work it out.

That's the crux of the problem here though isn't it? I've never felt that kind of love. Not for her, certainly, not for anyone I guess.

Well, that's not true. I did feel that once, a long time ago.

I felt that way for April.

April Kepner.

Geez, I haven't thought about her for a long time.

That's a lie. A big fat one. I think about her all the time. All the fucking time.

I loved April Kepner.

Not that she ever knew it. Because I just couldn't muster up the courage to do it, what Mark said to; to stand up and say it loud, no matter the consequences.

I wonder what would have happened if I had though. What if I had stood up and told her that I loved her? Would she have still married Matthew? Would she still be April Taylor? Or would she be with me? If so, we sure as hell wouldn't need to be sitting in marriage counseling.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, did I forget to mention this is AU? ;-)  
> Just a very short OS to celebrate 300 Day.  
> Have fun watching the epi!!!  
> :-)


End file.
